Thursday, January 29, 2009

I Smack You With Cuteness!

French cuteness, in fact. Little French girl tells a story about Tigger and Pooh and monkeys and crocodiles and hippos. With English subtitles. By way of Loquacity of Lotharia.


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Have You Been Watching This Show?

True Beauty?

Have you seen it? Have you grown to love it as I have?

So there are these 10 people who have entered a reality show competition to determine the most beautiful person in America. So already you know they're bringing the vapid.

But the producers are playing a practical joke on the contestants. They're still judging them on their little photo shoots and fashion challenges, but they have hidden cameras and actors putting them through challenges to see if they're beautiful on the inside.

Shallow people being publicly humiliated? I am so there.

For example, the first challenge was when they were first meeting each other. A waiter walked over to them, tripped and spilled water all over them. One woman asked the guy if he was okay, one or two guys helped other people dry off and one woman was OMG my lucky gold shoes!

Hee.

In another one, the actress playing their costume person for their sports photo shoot kept getting phone calls from her boyfriend on her cell phone and fighting with him and crying. Out of the 8 contestants, 2 comforted her or asked if she was OK. One guy actually told her to "suck it up" because the winner gets their picture in People Magazine.

Of course, all this bad behavior is punctuated by shots of the judges watching the footage in their secret location, commenting on it all.

Then they narrow it down to 2 people who are at risk of getting kicked off the show. So they have to get dressed up and report to, I shit you not, The Hall of Beauty, where there are these huge portraits of the remaining contestants.

They throw another hidden camera challenge on them as each person walks from the SUV to the Hall of Beauty. So who goes and who stays is totally determined by which one stopped to help the bike messenger who just fell 5 feet away from them, or whatever. But the judges/producers still make them beg for their lives. And of course, they pull out the typical reality show arguments: I should stay because I want to win SO MUCH. The competition is the culmination of my entire life.

Knowing that whatever they say makes no difference, makes it super, extra funny.

Then, after they send one person back to the house, they tell the evictee about the hidden camera challenges and show them the footage. It's pretty much, "We were testing you to see if you're a douchebag and you passed that test, Sweetheart." The reactions shots as the evictee finds out that they were judged to be a bad person are worth the price of admission, right there.

But that's not even the best part of the show! After they're all finished? These 2 janitors come in, take down the portrait of the evictee and place it in a dumpster and wheel it away. And I laugh and laugh. I'm laughing now just thinking about it. The tribe has spoken. Your portrait is no longer worthy to hang in The Hall of Beauty.

That Ashton Kutcher is a fucking genius.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Open Letter to Even More People Who Need to Fuck Off

To Steam Heat:
I live on the 7th (top) floor of an apartment building. We have steam heat. Heat in general rises. We have all our radiators turned off and it was still over 80 degrees in my home office one day this week. We have climate zones in the apartment. Arctic in the bedroom, tropical in my home office and temperate in the living room/dining room. HA keeps a rack of videotapes near the (turned off) radiator in his home office. He discovered today that 3 boxes had melted together. The tapes are fine, but the boxes are now permanently attached to each other thinks to the heat ascending from the 6 floors below.

Living in an apartment building greatly reduces my carbon footprint, but you, Steam Heat, are wasting energy by overheating my apartment, while making living here more than a bit unpleasant at times.

You have pissed me off for the last time, steam heat. 81 fucking degrees in January? The next time we move, and every time after that, it will NOT be to a place with steam heat. Good day to you sir. I said good day.

To people whose blogs start playing music automatically when you open the page:
Yours is not the only blog I visit. Firefox has these awesome things called tabs which let me open several blogs at once so I can read one while waiting for another to open. I've been checking out the blogs that are doing the One World One Heart Giveaway (and I suggest you do the same, reader). I opened 5 blogs at once. Four of them were playing music automatically. You can imagine how that sounded.

I'm not just visiting these blogs to enter the giveaways. I'm also looking for new blogs to subscribe to. I have this thing called iTunes that plays music for me, such as when I'm reading blogs. If you feel the need to bombard me with music while I'm already listening to music, I'm not coming back. If I were still working in an office, and visited your blog at work, you'd probably get an angry email at me about the embarrassment and trouble you caused me.

To the lemon reek:

I have vanquished thee, sir. With one of those big, honking three-wicked candles. Your chemicals are probably still burning holes in my brain, but at least you're not giving me migraines anymore.

To the outgoing President and his administration:
Feel free to let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Just Keep Swimming

I'm pushing to get some progress on my novel (this fucker will have end end by Spring, consarnit), so I'm not feeling the blogging as much as I'd like to. I have dozens of ideas for posts, especially for The Frugal Crafters, which oh dear god, I haven't posted to in well over a month. But the novel's got to come first for a change and I'll probably get my blogging mojo back in a few days.

So instead of coming up with a big dramatic post about how I can't blog anymore and then starting up again in a week (I have vague memories of one of more people doing this in the past year or so but I could be hallucinating), I'm just agonna suggest you go visit Erin at Out of Character. A video she took while scuba diving? I don't wanna see that, I thought to myself. And I was wrong. It's all in the post-production folks.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Gift Knitting

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Anna of My Fashionable Life did a post about what happens to our handknits when we're done making them. She talks about how they get worn out, or lost, or stuck in a drawer because the recipient didn't like it.

There's also the people who don't use the handknits because they're "too nice". I have one cousin who actually asked me to knit her second a baby blanket [Ravelry link] of her own and refuses to let the kid touch it because she'll ruin it. I used dishcloth cotton for maximum spit-up-on-ability. But my cousin still insists it's too nice to use. Her oldest isn't allowed access to his blankie (make with superchunky acrylic) because "he'd rip it to shreds".

For this and other reasons, it's clear that this cousin has issues. They say there's one in every bunch, and since there's 17 of us cousins (all first cousins on one side of the family), we probably have more than one. But it still irks.

Another thing that could happen to hand-knit gifts is that you knit like the wind to get everything done in time for a big party where you'll be seeing the recipients. And then they can't make it for totally legitimate and OK reasons. So you hand the gifts to someone who'll pass them on and try not to kick yourself too much for not just giving yourself more time and mailing them in the New Year.

Reportedly, these gifts were a bit hit and my cousin's kids acted out a story with all their little Korknisses [Ravelry link]. So that's good.

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Any other ways that your hand knitted gifts are received/treated?

Back Again

After 4 days with a buggy in my tummy (as HA puts it), I'm hoping to be able to leave the house today. 

I was not completely unproductive during my illness, though. Thanks to the DVR and Netflix Watch It Now, I knocked a few films off my queue. (Instead of retail therapy, I just browse Netflix. My queue is over 150. Just me? OK, then.) I figured since I wasn't feeling well anyway, I included some downers I'd been putting off.

Films and quickie reviews:
In America: I cried at the end. Loved the 1960's metal screen thing in their apartment.
The Year of Living Dangerously: meh. Why is it called that when it seems to take place in about a month? Also? I have got to stop reading the movie descriptions on the DVR, at least with Turner Classic Movies. It was something like "a journalist betrays both his friend and his lover". She doesn't become his lover until an hour into the film and the betrayal paled in comparison to all my wondering when the hell this movie was supposed to take place (1965, according to IMDB) and why Indonesia was such a political hotspot when there was a war in Vietnam (Indonesian Civil War, apparently). Linda Hunt rocked, though.
The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser: There's a fine line between impressionistic filmmaking and WTF is going on here filmmaking. This film is on the wrong side of that line. Also? why do I feel the need to make myself read subtitles when sick?
The Rage in Placid Lake: good indie film. 
The Butterfly Effect (Director's Cut): Did not suck. I've heard that this can only be said about the director's cut. It was actually really good. I have no such hopes for the sequel.

I also did some knitting, which I'm totally going to blog about. Right after I get caught up on all the holiday gift knitting and so on. 

I'm starting to feel like posting pictures on Ravelry and on blogs is like the finishing (sewing seams, weaving in ends, etc.)--something to be put off so I can do more fun and lovely knitting.